September 2019 - Bristol State University

Coco Russo is 20, Jessica Cooper is 21 and Carla Dallas is 23.

Narrated by Jessica Cooper

It had been Coco's idea.

She had wanted to throw a party, and I couldn't have said no to her. She had asked me if I could go and get the groceries, and I had said yes – once again. But I hadn't known that Coco had also talked to Carla, who was now coming with me.

At first, it was a little awkward, as usual. Neither of us knew exactly what to say or how to act, so we just walked to the nearest grocery store without saying a word to each other. As we finally got there, Carla decided to lead the way.

“Okay”, she started calmly. “We need to get some booze. Lots of it. But I'll take care of that.” She examined me from head to toe with her eyes. “Could you maybe grab some mayonnaise? I'm sure that was on the list.”

The store was rather small, a lot smaller than the one we had in Bristol Bay. It didn't take me long to find the mayonnaise so I quickly returned back to our shopping cart. Carla was running around the store, throwing some more stuff in the shopping cart and then disappearing again behind all the shelves that were filled with colorful jars and bottles.

“That's not non-fat”, she suddenly pointed out and looked at me severely. She was talking about the mayonnaise.
“Yeah, but it's a party, so I don't think anyone's going to mind.”
“I do”, she snapped.

You can't even tell the difference, I complained to myself as I browsed through all the different mayonnaise brands – once again. It seemed like such a stupid thing to do.

Over the past few months I may had become a lot more courageous and confident, but Carla was still Carla. I was still scared of her. I was 21, but acted like a little baby around her. She was able to control me the way she wanted, and I could never say anything back to her. It wasn't just about the mayonnaise. It was everything. It had been too many years already.

I was tired. I was tired of hating her. I was tired of her hating me.

~~~

That night, I had my girlfriend Hailey stay the night for the first time. I was so nervous, but in the end it all turned out just fine. She had a lot more experience than I did, I could tell, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. It was my first time, so I hadn't really known what to expect.

We stayed awake for a few hours, and just cuddled. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I didn't want to let go.

“Was I bad?” I finally asked her timidly.
“Of course not”, she said immediately, and looked me in the eyes. “That's not even possible.”

“I'm so glad we did this”, I said quietly while playing with her hair.
“Me too.” Her tone was so honest, like always.

“It was about time, right?” I gave a little laugh. “I'm always kind of late.”
“No, you're not”, she said firmly. “You just wanted to be sure.”
“I was”, I told her. “Because of you.”

Falling asleep next to her was the best experience of my life. Her warm breath was tickling the back of my neck, and I could feel her narrow arms wrapped around my waist. She was so tiny, yet I felt like she could protect me from anything bad in the world.

I smiled in my sleep.

~~~

Coco was going to throw a party.

It was going to be a real party, a real college party. It was her sophomore year and the first time she actually felt free. Her big sister Claudia had finally moved away from campus and it was now Coco's time to have fun.

It was 4PM. There were still lots of things to do, but Coco had just got home from her soccer practice. She had wanted to take a quick shower before starting with all the party arrangements. She had all the other girls helping her out, so it wasn't like she was all alone.

The water was nice and warm and Coco could feel the hot steam filling the whole bathroom. She kept her eyes closed and just enjoyed the brief moment of peace and silence. She had always lived with a bunch of other people, so she had learned to appreciate the rare instants of loneliness.

Coco had been a tomboy for her whole life. When she was little, she had always refused to wear all those frilly pink dresses that her mum used to buy her. Her big sister Claudia had been more than happy to put them on, but Coco had always preferred hoodies and jeans. One of her best friends was a boy, who later became her first boyfriend.

She had always attracted guys that were looking for a friend more than a girlfriend. They saw her as a game buddy with benefits – a sexual being only in the bedroom. Coco knew it was mostly because of her own behavior – it was just too hard to get rid of all the old habits and acting like one of the guys. But today, she was 20 years old and was ready to become a woman. It was time for a change.

~~~

When I was a teenager, I never went to any parties. One time, my brother James had wanted to throw one, but our dad hadn't let him.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do at a house party. It was my house, but I didn't feel comfortable in it. I was just sitting there, looking at all the people dancing, laughing and throwing up. There was a beer keg – I had no idea who had brought it.

Suddenly, I felt someone lightly touching my arm and curling up next to me. It was Hailey.
“Hi”, she said with her soft voice, almost like a whisper.
“Hi there.” I looked at her beautiful face and smiled. “I missed you.”

“It's a nice party”, Hailey said.
“Yeah.”
“You don't like parties.” It wasn't a question.
“I really don't have any experience.”

“You never went to any parties during high school?” She didn't sound surprised.
“No, I didn't.” I closed my eyes. “I bet you did.”
Hailey just laughed a little and took my hand. “I did.”
“We're so different”, I sighed.

“I disagree”, Hailey said confidently. “I think we have a lot in common.”
I smiled blandly. Then she held my face between her palms and kissed me lightly. “I love you, Jessica.”
“I love you too.”

I really did love her. I had loved her since the day we first met, but it had taken me such a long time to finally realize it. But now, loving her was just as clear as daylight. It was like breathing – I didn't even have to think about it, but I still unconsciously kept doing it.

“You should introduce me to your friends.” Hailey looked at me gently.
“You've already met Coco.”
“I know, but your other friends.”
I looked at her, and she seemed sincere. I took a deep breath, and then reminded her: “I don't have any other friends.”

Coco was looking beautiful that night. She didn't look like herself, but it didn't seem to matter to any of those guys that were gathering around her.

The way she acted, the way she spoke – it just wasn't her.

She had lined her eyes with a color that was even darker than black, and her lipstick was as red as a beetroot. The outfit wasn't her, not at all – Coco had never liked showing much of her skin, and now you could see every bit of it.

She clearly enjoyed all the attention she got as she was strutting around the house. I never spoke to her that night, which was a little odd – she had been my best friend for 7 years. But I just didn't recognize her anymore.

I had Hailey by my side, but I just didn't feel comfortable. There were too many drunk students around the house, and I just kept hoping the party was already over. I didn't know even half of the people that were there, and I wasn't sure if the other girls knew them either. There were plastic cups all around our living room, and no-one seemed interested in throwing them away. I tried to clean up, but in the end it was just too much work.

For me, it was a nightmare.

At some point of the night, Carla walked unsteadily to the living room and stopped right in front of me. I could tell she was drunk, from the way she moved and the way she talked.
“Jessica”, she started, sounding breathless. “I need your help.”
“What is it?”
“I need some CDs. We've already played all the ones I've got.” She was leaning on the couch, trying not to fall. I couldn't help but notice that her tone was a lot more friendly now that she was drunk.
“Sure.” I stood up. “I'll give you some of Coco's, she keeps them in our room.”

I helped her up the stairs and led her towards our room. Her legs were wobbly, but somehow we managed to get to the door.

I pulled the door open and it took me a few seconds to realize what was going on in the room.

There was Coco, and Alec – Carla's boyfriend. They were kissing, making out, like it was the end of the world.

Carla didn't say anything, but I could sense her world crashing down.

~~~

I didn't know how I had ended up there.

I was with Carla, in her room, sitting on the floor, at the empty space where Claudia's bed used to lie. We weren't talking. I knew Carla was in shock – her body was shaking, but she wasn't even crying. It was so quiet – someone had turned off the music. The police had come and all the guests had been chased away.

“Too much noise”, the police officer had said to us.

Well, I hoped they were happy now. There weren't any noises anymore.

“Sometimes”, Carla finally started, after a long, hollow silence. Her voice shivered, as did her body. “Sometimes I really miss her. She's my only friend.”
I knew she was talking about Claudia. I didn't turn to look at her – I was afraid of seeing her cry. She had always been so tough, so unbreakable. I knew she didn't want me to see her finally break down.

But I couldn't help but hear her bursting into tears. She was now sobbing desolately, with her head on her knees, but she wasn't trying to hide anything. If she didn't want me to know she was hurt, she would have told me to leave her alone.

I couldn't bear to look at her. I couldn't allow myself to admit that the girl who had been loathing me since the day we first met could actually have feelings. I didn't want to admit that maybe, after all, there had been a reason. That maybe she was fragile, just like everybody else, and that maybe she didn't just hate me.

What if there was just something more to her than her hard shell?

I didn't know what Coco had been thinking. She was now devastated, of course, after seeing my reaction. Maybe she had expected me to take her side. But after seeing how she had hurt my brother I felt like I couldn't take it anymore – I didn't want to see anyone else being killed emotionally by her.

She never cared about the people whose feelings she had hurt. She just didn't want me to hate her. She wanted me to remain by her side.

Carla was still sobbing silently next to me. I wasn't looking at her – I needed a moment. It had all happened so quickly – an hour ago, we both had disliked each other equally. And now I was there with her, and she had let her shield down. She was now showing me her real, vulnerable self.

I finally looked at her.

I remembered the words my dad had once said to me. “She's your sister now.” I looked at her hair, her graceful body and her deep brown eyes, that were now filled with tears. She wasn't my sister.

But I knew she could have been.

She had finally stopped crying, and she wasn't trembling anymore. She was now motionless – she didn't move an inch.

I looked at her, at her most vulnerable, and saw something real. I moved a bit closer to her, and wrapped my arms around her.
“I'm sorry”, I finally whispered.

~~~

• Wow, all these college updates have lately become a real pain in the ass for me, so I'm glad I finally got this done! And boy, was there some drama...
• I really don't know how this all happened. One minute, Coco was making out with Spencer, the guy she's been dating for about a year now, and the next thing I know she's upstairs getting it on with Alec. She's always considered him hot, and I think I've mentioned it in the story, as well. They've always been flirting a little, but this was a huge surprise for me. Coco's been all about Spencer lately. Alec is a romance sim, so this wasn't really unexpected from him, but I'm still surprised.
• Jessica's reaction to this whole drama triangle was also something I hadn't expected. The minute she saw Coco and Alec making out, she became furious with both of them and immediately started comforting Carla. Coco, on the other hand, rolled the fear of Jessica hating her, exactly like she did when she broke up with James.
• It was kind of hard for me to come up with a reasonable motive for Jessica to so suddenly change her mind about Carla. They've disliked each other since the moment their parents got together! But then I started thinking – Jessica's always seen Carla as the kind of persons who really doesn't care about anything and acts all cold with everyone, except for Alec and Claudia. And then, I remembered the difficult situation Jessica was put in when Coco broke up with her brother. She didn't like the way Coco ended things with him, nor did she approve of the way Coco totally ignored him after the break-up.
• I don't know if things are okay now between Jessica and Carla. We'll just have to wait and see how they act in the future.
• I'm so glad Jessica and Hailey are finally together. It took her two and a half years to make up her mind! Both of them are very serious about the relationship and I think they're going to move in together in the near future.