February 2019 - mini update

Mikayla Sims is 17, Carol Sims is 45 and Berjes Chung is 48.

Narrated by Mikayla Sims


It's just not fair.



It's just not fair that my big brother Cody is getting married this summer and that my dad is going to pay for it all – the wedding, the house, the car. It's just not fair how dad paid for Cody's college. He barely even earned any scholarships, yet he got to live in the fanciest dorm on campus and have his private double room with his private bathroom.


It's just not fair how dad just left us, married that stupid woman and had those two stupid kids with her.


It's just not fair how those kids get to live in that beautiful townhouse, get to play with all the newest toys and will probably never even have to work to achieve the things they want. They just have it all.


It's just not fair how I never got to take any dance lessons, because my dad refused to pay for them. It's just not fair how I had to settle for a violin, since it was all my cheap mom agreed to buy me. I just wanted to dance. And I asked him to let me do that, and he told me it was never going to happen. I had made my choice, and it was to stay with my mom. I didn't do as my brother did – I didn't stay on good terms with both of our parents. I believed mom when she told me what an asshole my dad was.


It's just not fair how every time I look out my window, I see his perfect house and his perfect pool. I see his perfect car and his perfect life. Which I'm not a part of anymore, and he doesn't really care.


I never went over to see his kids. I never gave his new wife a chance to get to know me. I didn't want to get to know her. And I didn't want to see the kids because I knew what they had. They had it all. They had a mom, and they had a dad. They had the chance to do whatever they wanted. They didn't have to listen to all the fighting, they didn't have to be scared. They didn't have to choose between two parents – they could have it all.


I could hear someone coming upstairs. I could hear the steps getting closer and closer.


“Dinner's ready.”


There used to be just the two of us. We were best friends, we could tell each other everything. We would sit on the couch, watch a movie, and just blame my dad for anything bad that ever happened to us. If I ever failed a test at school, it was his fault. If we were having some trouble making ends meet, it was his fault. It used to be so easy.


But then my mom met this new guy, and suddenly, it wasn't so easy anymore. She stopped blaming my dad. She was blind – she only saw this new man who wanted to be a part of her life. And she let him in.
And suddenly, I was outside. I wasn't a part of her life anymore.


I called the college guy, River. We had only met once before, but my brother had forbidden me from seeing him ever again. I drove to this quiet and empty spot, without saying a word.


I let him do whatever he wanted with me. I barely even moved, I wasn't excited. I just wanted to get it over with.


I drove back home at around 5am. I wondered if my mom had even noticed my absence. Maybe she hadn't. She was too busy with her new life, just like my dad.